The World is Watching

Flickr photo by. craig

I wake up every morning and the very first thing when I open my eyes is do the sign of the cross. I remember dad doing that when he got out of bed and I picked-up this "habit" from him. I doubt he knows that I do this every morning because I remember seeing him do it every morning growing up. It is interesting the things that as a kid you pick-up on that your parents don't have a clue you know they do or still do. As you grow older you realize you become a version of them in all things; good, bad and ugly.

As a dad this is a scary thought because there are habits that I don't want my children to learn from me. If we as parents sit back to think about the obligation and responsibility we have being role models for our children it sometimes feels like the weight of the universe on our shoulders. I want to be the best daddy for my children and sometimes the pressure gets to me because I feel that the whole world is watching.

I hear it often,"Oh you are such a good daddy!" but inside I want to tell them,"Sometimes. You haven't seen me tired or when the kiddos are acting out." I am not very pleasant but it is getting better (I hope).  I fall to the "template" I grew up with which is my dad. I am a light version of him and even though I love my dad, I want to be better than him. I want my children to know that I am not perfect but I am going to be the best daddy I can be.

The funny thing about kids is that they think you are the coolest cat around. For example, I am NOT a handy man (ask my wife about that) but my girls think I can fix anything. I often hear them pretending to "fix" things and one will always say,"I can't fix this!!" and the other always replies," It's ootay sweetie, daddy can fix it." That makes me feel pretty awesome, even though I really can't fix a lot of things but I can "fix" their invisible toys. I like to yell,"Can we fix it!?", and in twin-sync they yell back,"YES WE CAN!"

So girls Daddy is going to keep being there for you, hold you, carry you, laugh with you, cry with you, hug you, teach you, hold you accountable, feed you, clothe you and love you....especially when the world is watching.

- the babies dad